Trudy & The Sonic Wombat

(words & music by Brent Turner)

Trudy and the sonic wombat are quite a pair
She's a little on the blind side
And he's got no hair
They've got two turtles
And a south Alaskan gay polar bear
And they're still waiting for it to snow

Trudy tried to profit off of green lima beans
She tried to sell them to Dick Nixon
And a couple of teens
They both went bankrupt to the penny
And that probably means
That they're still waiting for it to snow

The I.R.S. really got right on to their case
They took their TV and their lampost
Their acoustical bass
They left them all their flowers
But held on to their vase
And they're still waiting for it to snow

Scarecrow Supergirl

Where do you get the confidence
To carry on with such innocence?
Penetrating with your second sight
Reading minds with your seventh sense

Breaking hearts with your damsel scam
I'd like to buy a ticket, ma'am
To see you in a bowling shirt
With its pajama monogram

Scarecrow supergirl, scarecrow supergirl
You butter my toast, you butter my toast
Scarecrow supergirl, scarecrow supergirl
I think you're the most, I think you're the most
I think you're the.........most

My Yankee eccentricity
Is wholly born of ingenuity
Like you, I'm just another guttersnipe
Who left his wit to perpituity

Scarecrow supergirl, scarecrow supergirl
You butter my toast, you butter my toast
Scarecrow supergirl, scarecrow supergirl
I think you're the most, I think you're the...

Never been, never gone
But I'd like to go to Dover with you
Feed some Cheetos to the gulls
Or just admire the view
Watch the rim of the ocean as it licks at the sky
Never told you but you've got
Boston Terrier eyes

I hope you never get those purple veins
That run all up and down your legs
And I hope you never run out of things to say
In your own peculiar way

And I hope you never dream of selling out
Even when you're cold and dead
To me, there's never been a doubt
That yours is a most remarkable head

Scarecrow supergirl, scarecrow supergirl
You butter my toast, you butter my toast
Scarecrow supergirl, scarecrow supergirl
I think you're the most, I think you're the...most

Don't Cry, Al

Grab your coat and hat
Box up Schroedinger's cat
Time to run down to the corner
For some tasty frozen fruit-flavored fat

All that dusty chalk
And all that brainy talk
Make you want to walk
Towards strawberry ice cream
What'd you tell your mom?
Those were your equations in the Bomb
I'll bet she was pissed off at you
For more than a week

Time doesn't matter
And these matters take time
Time to matter
Oh, it's time to take some time
When you've had your ration
Of reason and equations
It's good to soothe your passions
With frosty pink libations

Sometimes all you want
Is strawberry ice cream

Don't cry, Al— no, don't cry, Al
The weight of your shoulders
Is on the world

Fuzzy Bunny Slippers

Please act your age
You're making such a spectacle
Tugging at your stocking tops
Fogging up my spectacles
Cradle to grave— you strike me as a cannibal
Your hunger is insatiable
Your influence is terrible
Can't fool me with your fuzzy bunny slippers

Put that thing down!
I can't take you anywhere
You're pulling a crowd
Wondering at your underwear
Mugging like a fishwife
Cooing like a babydoll
Pouting like a precious child
Seething like a demon bride
Slide your toes inside those fuzzy bunny slippers

Must be those lashes
Curling like a butterfly's fingers
Can't be those thighs
That are tripping my trigger

What's the allure of your infantile behavior?
Sweet little babycakes
Forbidden flavor
Linger on my lips like a stolen kiss
Pacify your urges with my fingertips
Trailing from your hips to your fuzzy bunny slippers

Must be those lashes
Curling like a butterfly's fingers
Can't be those thighs
That are tripping my trigger

Maybe it's your tattoos
Maybe it's your saddle shoes
Come at me like voodoo
Funicello hairdo
Maybe it's your lipgloss
Or that debutante head toss
Scorpion or applesauce?
Spiderweb or candyfloss?
Maybe it's the cut of your fuzzy bunny slippers
Maybe it's the jib of your fuzzy bunny
Slippers

Must be those lashes
Curling like a butterfly's fingers
Can't be those thighs
That are tripping my trigger

Lyrics ©2005 by Dean Bonzani

All Rights Reserved

Gorby & Cherney

When your head falls down to the pillow
And you've got a tight grip on your willy
And you look up, but you can't see the ceiling
Well, there's nothing compares with the thrill of
Singing in fake British accents

Here comes some big, big juju
I can feel it through the floor
Yeah, it really gets you movin'
Like an electric rubber chicken

I was saving my passion for a rainy day
But I guess I'll have to splurge
My bones seem to have a life of their own
And who am I to fight the urge

Feel like I'm under a microscope
Look up, and there's a great big eye
Criminy officer! I'm just a citizen
Not a video or some some of criminal

There's an eight-legged horse under an ashen sky
And I guess there's more where that came from
In Russia, they're growing pigs with no eyes
Them and me, we're just two of a kind

Just two of a kind
Big ears and stone blind

Faceplant Theme

She got leather up there
A piece of leather up there
She got leather up there
A stinky piece of leather up there!

She got a chicken up there!
A cheeky chicken up there
A finger-lickin' chicken up there
A Colonel Sanders' chicken up there!

Plain White Square

You weren't there
Now you're there
Love you, love you
My plain white square!

Oh, won't you be my panda?
Oh, won't you be my honey bear?
I want to read you your Mirandas
I love you just because you're there

You weren't there
Now you're there
Love you, love you
My plain white square!

I love the way you make me stupid
I love the way you make me numb
I want to dress you up like cupid
I love it when you act so dumb!

You weren't there
Now you're there
Love you, love you, love
My plain white square!

Lemme Be Your Girlfriend

Lemme be your girlfriend
I can stay up all night long
You can tell me nasty little stories
While you're pulling your pajamas on
Lemme be your girlfriend
I can be your Powerpuff
Bend some gender
Let's pretend I'm as tender
As your knuckle-dragging boyfriends
Were rough

You've been trying to fit
A square peg in a round hole
Maybe it's time you considered
A different approach

Lemme be your girlfriend
I could be your confidante
You could tell me dirty little secrets
That you never dared to tell anyone
Lemme be your girlfriend
We could have a slumber night
I could slather you with moisterizing lotion
Then we'd have a vicious pillow fight

You've been trying to fit
A square peg in a round hole
Maybe it's time you considered
A different approach

Lemme be your girlfriend
I will be your bestest friend
I will be your bestest bosum buddy
I'll stick with you 'til the very end
Lemme be your girlfriend
We could share everything we've got
We could dress up in kimonos
Grag some sushi, baby
That would make it really hot

You've been trying to fit
A square peg in a round hole
Maybe it's time you considered
A different approach
How can I convince you
You've been wasting what you feel?
You need sympathy
A girlfriend's exactly what you need
A girlfriend just like me
A girlfriend like me

Lemme be your girlfriend
I'll be the one you never leave behind
We could take a bubble bath together
Then watch Oprah reruns 'til we go blind

Monkey Biscuit

I'm really glad to meet you
I'm really glad I met you
You shake hands like an octopus
You smile like a placenta
There's a smell in the room and it's making me quiver
Like a jelly on a shingle
Like amoebas in my liver
Is it me, or did it really get dark in here?
There's a greasy little button on my primitive fear
There's a twitchy little finger that's just aching to push it
And it twitches and it twitches and it twitches

No matter how you bake it, no difference if you twist it
You're still at the mercy of your monkey biscuit
No matter how you bend it, no matter how you shape it
You're still gonna take it from your monkey biscuit

I'm sweating like a zebra in my PVC trousers
You're talking like a fever and it lingers for hours
Jim is in the bushes where he's making a distraction
Marlin's in the Rover, where he's checking out the action
There's a camera in my face and it's gauging my emotions
An audience of scavengers that hangs on every photon
It's sucking all the gravy from my primitive soul
And it's sucking and it's sucking and it's sucking

No matter how you bake it, no difference if you twist it
You're still at the mercy of your monkey biscuit
No matter how you bend it, no matter how you shape it
You're still gonna take it from your monkey biscuit

Gotta take this all somewhere
Like I'm not dick-deep in monkey hair
Try to think like I'm divine
Find some better uses for my time
Chirping like a lucky cricket
Humming in my monkey biscuit
Hung like jewels in my mind
Phosphorescent monkey shines

No matter how you bake it, no difference if you twist it
You're still at the mercy of your monkey biscuit
No matter how you bend it, no matter how you shape it
You're still gonna take it from your monkey biscuit